Fluency Update: Month 3

As of today, I have officially been in France for three months. Unfortunately the magic of being abroad has faded a bit since I've been acquainted with the numerous atrocious aspects differences in the French school system (more on that later!). The reality is that I'm missing out on a years worth of degree and career advancing opportunities back at UCSC. This fact, along with unfortunate events back home, has put me in a funk recently. I know all this somber stuff seems to have nothing to do with fluency but, in this case, it does. When I began to feel like my schooling here was a waste of time, that same attitude was reflected in my use of the language. I forgot why I was learning French, told myself that I didn't understand French, and didn't use French except for with French people. And let's face it, that contact is very minimal.

But today, during the hours of free time I had, I really focused on the reasons why I decided to study abroad in the first place. In my application essay, I wrote that I wanted to become fluent, to experience a different culture, and I wanted a challenge (Boy, has it been a challenge!). I wrote that essay from the heart. I reflected on it for days because I needed it to be true, not because I wanted to appear as the perfect candidate with the best writing skills. In that essay, I never mentioned achieving any lengthy academic or career goals; it was all about personal goals. Since the frenzy of French life began, my personal goals have been crowed out by these exterior ones. Now is the time that students my age decide what they want to do career wise, if they haven't already. All I can think about is: What do I want to do with my Anthropology degree? Do I want to study primatology and do fieldwork? Do I want to research primate cognitive function? What about primate sexual dimorphism and secondary sexual characteristics? Maybe I want to do forensics? Or do I want to contribute to research on human evolution? Where in there can I fit in food culture studies? Can I please have a brain like an encyclopedia and just do all of this?

Obviously there is a tangle of career questions in my mind hiding my personal needs and wants. So I think to myself again, Why do I want to be fluent in French? It is not so much the specific language that I care about, it's the wonderful feeling I get from communicating with people in a way I find foreign. The patterns I recognize, what I learn about my own language from studying another, the risks you take every time you attempt to say something and the feeling of saying it right or being understood... thats what I love and thats why I'm here. It seems that I just needed to be reminded of it.

I'm trying, I really am. I takes a lot of mental and emotional strength to remove oneself from the comfort of one's mother tongue and dive full force into a foreign one. This is communication we're talking about here, that very innate thing that is the essence of our social lives. But I know I can do this, I know it, it will just take some positivité.

Fluency Update: Month 1

I knew taking my classes in French would be hard, and I accepted that challenge, but it is turning out to be more difficult than I expected. My notes for the anthropology classes that I’m taking with French students are just a series of words I identified. I’m having a hard time understanding full sentences and the main ideas. Sometimes I’m not even sure when the professor is lecturing or just talking about administrative stuff... so those classes are definitely a problem. Unfortunatley none of the anthropology classes have any required reading so I have to find reading material on my own and that isn’t always easy when a teacher has their own agenda. Not to be negative, but this is how it has been. Luckily my French classes with other foreign students are easier. The professors speak slowly for us so we can follow. This definitely helps me better understand pronunciation so I can use those words myself.

Overall, my use of French and understanding of it has improved. I can understand more than I did before and I can carry on a conversation longer. I noticed that after speaking English all day, then speaking French at dinner with the family, I take more time to figure out how to say something. However, on days where I only speak French (which is really hard to do when I’m surrounded by Americans all day) sentences come to me much more quickly. Obviously I need to speak the French all day every day but when Jill and I can’t figure out how to say something in French to each other, we resort to English and its all downhill from there. However, we’ve gotten much better at returning to French. 

Recently, I’ve had a few moments where I could notice my improvement. First, two weeks ago on a train I was listening to a French song on my iPod and I understood EVERY SINGLE WORD. Not only did I understand the words, but I also understood the ideas...and thats a big deal! Secondly, I went to go see two films: the first was in Spanish with French subtitles (tangled language speghetti!) and the second was entirely in French. Surprisingly I felt that I understood the majority of both! Even though the waiter at the restaurant we went to afterwards said we misunderstood the relationship between two characters, I am convinced that that waiter was wrong! Also, this weekend my host dad said that my French has improved since I first arrived at their house. I definitely believe it because, looking back, Jill and I were so silent at dinner with them at the beginning, but now, if we get a chance to talk among all the people, we have full length conversations. 

I only have 10 months left to achieve fluency! I hope I can do it!